


Richie Tozier, in a car, with a glaring admission

by Acadjonne



Series: I'd rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else [2]
Category: IT (2017), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Also we actually mention Richie's love for Eddie in this one, Beverly getting a divorce, Coming Out, Eddie going to divorce mediations, Gen, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, Richie Tozier Comes Out, Richie Tozier is a disaster gay who comes out one car ride at a time, and Georgie moving in with Bill, can i get a wahoo, things that also happen in this fic include
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 04:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21068867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acadjonne/pseuds/Acadjonne
Summary: Or, Richie Tozier tells the Losers his dirty little secret, one car ride at a time.





	Richie Tozier, in a car, with a glaring admission

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the fact that gays tend to prefer to come out while being driven somewhere, because there’s no chance of escape and less chance of being immediately kicked out/disowned if you’re talking to someone who’s busy handling a several-ton moving vehicle.

_ Beverly Marsh _

Back when they were kids, not long after they met, Richie and Bev developed a habit of smoking together. It didn’t last that long, maybe a month all said- between the fight the Losers had after their first visit to Neibolt, and Bev leaving a few days after they went down into the sewers to fight It. They’ve taken it back up since being reunited, though.

Richie doesn’t smoke that often, although he does tend to smoke at least a cigarette a day. He’s been trying to quit for years, but that’s the closest he’s ever come. Bev, on the other hand, _ had _ managed to quit, but her asshole husband trying to prolong a no-contest divorce is eating on her nerves, not to mention Eddie’s own trying divorce, and she’s started smoking with Richie several times a day for the last week. They finished Richie’s pack earlier, but halfway through a conversation about Hollywood events and the taboo of wearing the same outfit multiple times, they decided to go together to get some more.

Bev is the one who drives them, complaining about how stupid gossip magazines are. “I work hard to design clothes, and they’re high end, but you’re never gonna see me on a red carpet anytime soon. That being said, I’d rather people love my clothes enough to wear them around, and not just once and then get rid of them.” Richie, who’s only real “famous people” event was a meeting with Netflix about filming a comedy special sometime in the next six months, showed up in a Metallica t-shirt layered with a red floral button up which he’s since worn about two dozen times as parts of different outfits. He’s wearing the floral button up right then, even. He agrees wholeheartedly with Bev, of course, and voices this in his usual trashy, terrible-joke laden way.

Their banter holds up well into the process of paying for their smokes, but dies as they get back in the car. Bev seems content to leave the silence hanging, comfortable, but Richie flounders in his own head, trying to find another subject of conversation.

Since the whole fiasco in Derry, Richie has thought long and hard about Pennywise’s taunting and his _ dirty little secret _. He wants to be brave. He’s forty years old, damnit, he should be able to say a three letter word. He wants to be honest to the Losers. He wants to start now, but he can’t quite force the words. Bev looks over, seeming to sense his discomfort.

“Rich, you okay?” She asks. He shakes his head, his fists tightening and relaxing as they rest on his knees. He shakes his head again.

“Bev, don’t be mad.” He says, and his can’t quite make his voice as loud as he wants it to be. Bev makes a questioning noise. “Don’t hate me. Bev, I’m- Bev. I’m gay.”

Bev doesn’t say anything right away. She keeps driving for a moment, before flicking on her blinker and pulling into a sidestreet where she stops the car. As soon as she’s parked, she opens her door and climbs out. Before Richie can ponder too seriously over this, she opens his door and tugs on his arm to urge him out. He’s not even standing fully upright when Bev wraps him in a hug, crushing him against her. He takes a moment to breathe, and then hugs her back, burying his face in her shoulder. He resolutely _ does not cry _.

“It’s okay, Richie,” Bev says, and her voice conveys something as binding as a blood oath and as serious as a promise. “Thank you for trusting me, honey. That was very brave of you.”

They stay there for a moment, just hugging outside of Bev’s car, on a hidden away sidestreet probably four blocks from Eddie’s condo, a grown manchild and a redheaded bolt of lightning. After a few moments, Richie pulls back. He wipes his eyes conspicuously. “I think I’m okay. Thanks, Bev.”

Bev gives his hand one last squeeze, before she gets back into the car. “Thank you for telling me. Do the others know?”

Richie shakes his head. “No, I haven’t- you’re the first.” Bev nods, as if she expected it. To be fair, she wouldn’t be wrong to. Bev’s always been the easiest of any of the Losers to talk to. Richie’s willing to bet that Bev has a whole gaggle of secrets from all six of her friends, because they all trusted her wholeheartedly after she showed them up at the quarry while they all stood there in their underwear gaping like fish.

As they pull into the driveway, Bev turns to Richie, and grabs his hand.

“I love you, Richie, just as you are. Trashmouth and all, even if your jokes _ are _ terrible.”

Richie beams at her, and the last bit of tension he felt melted right off. “Why thank you, miss Mo- hey! My jokes are fuckin’ hilarious, Bevvie, who are you kidding?”

* * *

_ William Denbrough and Stanley Uris _

The longer he’s away from Georgie, the more unstable Bill seems. Since getting his brother back, as if not a day had passed in the interim, Bill has been doing everything he can to keep himself in Georgie’s life. As of now, he’s got a place in New York, where all the Losers seem to be settling together, and he’s nesting. There’s no better word for it, really. He keeps going out to toy stores and furniture shops and the like, buying all manner of things a young child might need to grow and thrive. It’s certainly winning him favours with the social worker assigned to Georgie’s case, who is pleased with the steps Bill’s taking to prepare to take care of Georgie.

Today, he’s got Stan and Richie going with him to a homestore to buy some bedsheets. He’d only really asked Stan to come along- Richie, having overheard, essentially forced them to let him along. (He sat in Bill’s backseat and said, “I’m bored. I’m coming along.”)

Stan and Bill converse among themselves in the front seat, while Richie just sits and listens from the back. “I know he’d l-like turtle sheets,” Bill says to Stan, “he had a s-set of turtle sheets in his room when we were k-kids.”

“Maybe he’d like birds, too. He always did like those feathers I gave him,” Stan says amicably. They’ve been discussing patterns for ten minutes.

Stan brings up the possibility of also getting Georgie plain sheets, and Richie chimes in then. “You could get him one in every colour of the rainbow. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.” Stan turns to look at Richie, gives him a little nod. When Stan turns forward again, Richie mumbles, “Kids like rainbows, don’t they?”

Bill chuckles a bit. “I know G-Georgie does. He always has.”

The three of them are silent for a moment, until Richie speaks up. “I have something I need to tell you guys, but you have to do me a favour and not look at me. I mean it. I _ will _ chicken the fuck out if either of you turn around.”

Bill and Stan share a look through the corners of their eyes, but don’t turn towards Richie. He takes a deep breath, then another. “_ Fuck _, this is hard to say.” It feels harder this time than it did telling Bev, somehow. Maybe it’s because there’s two of them, or maybe it’s something else. “I, uh. I’m gay.”

Neither Stan nor Bill say anything for a moment. Stan doesn’t turn back to Richie, but does ask him, “Can I give your hand a squeeze, Rich?” Richie nods dumbly, and sticks his hand forward to somewhere Stan will be able to see it. As promised, he grabs onto it and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Bill keeps his eyes on the road, even though he could easily catch a glance of Richie in the rearview. Richie appreciates that they’re respecting his wishes.

Bill says, “Thank you for trusting us, Richie. T-that was very brave of you.” Stan squeezes Richie’s hand again.

Richie melts into the car seat in sheer relief.

* * *

_ Edward Kaspbrak _

The Losers try to take their turns bringing Eddie to the mediation sessions with Myra. This time, Richie’s the one to go.

Eddie could drive on his own, of course, but he worries so much about the mediations that it’s better if someone else does the driving. Most often, it’s Bev or Ben who drive Eddie, since they have the calmest presences. Mike will be the next option if either of them are unavailable, then Stan or Bill. Richie is last because he and Eddie are prone to snarking each other too much. Eddie usually tells him he doesn’t want Richie along on those drives because he doesn’t want to be rilled up before the sessions.

This time, though, Eddie asked Richie specifically. When Richie asked why, Eddie shrugged. “Maybe I want you to rile me up for once,” he says, and Richie immediately begins to snark at him about his secret appreciation for Richie’s shitty jokes.

The session goes on for nearly three hours. Richie spends the entire time sitting in the car, fucking around on his phone. Once it’s done, Eddie is quiet, seems drained. For as much as he tends to go on past the point he should, Richie does occasionally know when to keep his mouth shut. Now seems like one of those times.

Eddie turns the radio on a bit harshly, but after a few minutes of listening to the music, he seems to calm down a bit. He even turns the music down after three or four songs. Neither he nor Richie immediately make any attempts at conversation, but eventually, Richie clears his throat.

“This is important, and I need you to know that what I’m about to say is serious and I am _ not _ fucking around right now.” Richie says, trying to keep his voice steady. Eddie scoffs at him. Richie, with a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel, resolutely keeps his eyes on the road. “Eds, I promise you, I am not joking. Totally, completely, one hundred percent serious.”

Eddie snaps, “don’t call me that! And I know you, Richie, I don’t think you’ve ever purposely said anything serious in your _ life _. Save me the mom joke, I don’t wanna hear it right now.”

Richie fidgets in his seat a bit, takes a deep breath. He and Eddie are good at pushing each other’s buttons, always have been, but he needs to get this out now or else he doesn’t know if he’ll ever do it. Leave it to Eddie to make this all harder. “I wasn’t going to make a fucking joke, dude, I have something important to say and I trust you to fucking hear it.” He still won’t let himself look at Eddie. If he does the words will die in the throat. It’s almost ironic, the effect Eddie has on him. Even if he’s not looking at him, Richie’s glasses are huge, so he can see it in his peripheral vision when Eddie shakes his head.

“I can see it, Richie. You’ve got that look on your face like you’re gonna talk about my-” Richie cuts Eddie off, speaking louder than necessary.

“I’m gay! I like men! I am not joking!” Eddie doesn’t respond at first, and Richie’s nerve goes down, as does his verbal filter. “Bev knows, and Bill, and Stan. And now you, I guess. Why the fuck do I keep doing this in cars, fuck, there’s no chance for escape and you probably-” Richie stops when Eddie puts a hand on his arm. For the first time in the conversation, Richie lets himself get a proper look at Eddie. His expression can only be described as soft.

“Rich, I- me too, I think.” Eddie admits. His voice is even softer than his expression. Richie spares him another look, very quickly. It’s on the tip of Richie’s tongue to make another admission, a much bigger one. It would be easier to say, it always was. It took Richie years to admit to himself what he was, but he never denied for a second what he felt for Eddie. _ I’m in love with you, _ he could say, _ I have been for years. Decades, even. _ He knows, though, that this isn’t the right moment, so he doesn’t say it.

“Really?” Richie asks instead, and Eddie nods. Richie can see it from his peripheral.

“I, maybe, I’m not. I never really, you know? But I think so.”

Aware that he might be encroaching into _ pushing too far _ territory but also being unable to stop himself, Richie asks, “But you were married. Myra?”

Eddie sighs and says, “My mother’s fault. It would be totally accurate to say I more or less married my mother, but the irony of it is that it was my mother’s idea to begin with. She loved Myra right away, they planned the whole wedding together. Talk about a pair of bridezillas. I mostly stayed with Myra because I didn’t have any other options.”

Trying to add a bit of levity, Richie says, “well, aren’t we a pair of disaster gays,” but he reaches out his right hand for comfort if Eddie wants it. He gives it a quick squeeze before telling Richie to keep both hands on the wheel.

* * *

_ Michael Hanlon _

Bev’s divorce eventually goes through, six months after they defeat It. They’re all relieved when it happens, of course. Bev’s shitty ex-husband was the reason it took so long, trying to start a fight even though Bev went basically no-contest. All she wanted was her sketch books and the most recent prototype designs she’d been working on. She did eventually get them, mailed to her, with one of the prototypes dismantled with a seam ripper and the other completely unsalvageable. The sketchbook was thankfully as she had left it, fully intact.

They decide to get some takeout to celebrate- nothing big, but enough of an occasion to be different. Bev even offers to pay the food for all eight of them - Georgie had finally been allowed to move in with Bill (technically _ tentatively _, for the time being) three weeks ago. They didn’t have a party then, either, just a gathering of the Losers at Bill’s place a few days later so that Georgie could be reacquainted with Eddie, Richie and Stan, and be properly introduced to Mike, Ben, and Beverly. They were also good with him, of course, they let him come to them and indulged him when he asked them questions or favours. Ben especially seems to have a knack with kids, and is quickly becoming Georgie’s favour loser, even threatening to surpass Stan in Georgie’s good graces.

Bev calls in the order for food. It’s chinese, at Georgie’s request, and voted on by the Losers. They call in the order in advance and arrange a pickup time with the restaurant. Mike volunteers to go pick up the food, and Richie is forcibly volunteered to go with him to help carry all the food.

Mike and Richie start the drive in a comfortable silence. Mike is comfortable, anyway. It’s not often Richie is quiet. Richie is biding his time, though, trying to figure out the perfect moment. By now he’s out to most of the Losers, with only Ben and Mike still in the dark, and Richie has decided he might as well tell them. He’s just been waiting for a moment alone with one or both of them, and now he’s sitting in a car with Mike, on the way to pick up chinese food.

“I trust you, Mike, you know that, right?” Richie asks. He sees Mike nod.

“I trust you, too, Richie.” Mike says kindly. Richie takes a breath. Somehow, after the ordeal with Eddie, this seems easy.

“I’m gay,” Richie says, as they pull into the restaurant’s parking lot. Mike nods, and looks at Richie.

“Good for you, Rich. Thanks for telling me.” He offers Richie a hand, and they bro-hug over the centre console. “Now, you ready to help me carry a mountain of food?”

* * *

_ Benjamin Hanscom _

The last one that Richie tells is Ben. This isn’t by any means a slight against him, or a sign that their friendship isn’t a good one, not at all. It just happens by chance that Ben is the last one Richie ends up alone in a car with.

Through Bev’s divorce proceedings, she and Ben have been sickeningly in love, and they’ve discussed marriage a few times. Bev said she didn’t mind getting engaged as soon as her divorce went through, as long as she and Ben didn’t elope and actually spent some time planning their wedding. Ben wanted to wait a bit longer, to let some of the dust settle before proposing, so a few weeks after Bev’s officially a free woman, Ben goes out shopping for a ring. Since Bev considers him her best friend, Ben asked Richie to come along.

“I don’t wanna get her anything too fancy,” Ben admits to Richie. “I was thinking maybe silver? And maybe some kind of heart design, I don’t know.”

“We can see what they have when we get there. I’m pretty sure they make rings with heart-shaped stones. Maybe you could get her birthstone in it.” Richie suggest. Ben grins.

“That’s not a bad idea, Rich. You seem to know what you’re talking about. Ever do any ring shopping before?” Ben asks. This is it, Richie thinks. This is his chance.

“No, actually. Kind of hard to do that when your most serious relationship only lasted two months. _ Really _ hard to do it when you’re not out.” Richie catches the look Ben shoots at him, surprised but gentle. “Don’t pretend you didn’t know, Haystack! I’m not exactly subtle, and Bev’s known for ages now.”

Ben shakes his head, and says, “I didn’t know. Bev is good at keeping secrets, and this one was yours to tell. She didn’t out you, Richie. Although you’re right about not being subtle. I don’t know _ how _ Eddie hasn’t realized you’re in love with him yet.” Ben teases. Richie grins.

“What can I say, my Eds is an idiot, sometimes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I feel bad that Ben and Mike's sections are so short, but I just wasn't entirely sure what to do with them. That isn't to say I don't love them as much as the others, because I do love them, they were just harder for me to write for some reason. I'm sorry, guys.
> 
> I wanna add more to this series, and explore Richie and Eddie if Richie ever tells Eddie how he feels. I also wanna explore Georgie, him living with Bill and adapting to his new situation and stuff. I can't promise that it will come, but I wanna try to do it someday.


End file.
